Sheelou (28) escort Denmark

Invariability

I'm not trying to claim victimhood for my entire life. That's why I developed a drinking problem, because I abused myself for feeling like a worthless individual that caused these problems. I don't believe the female gender is out to get me, but I obviously must be doing something wrong. "I love you" means nothing to me anymore, as the only two women that have told it to me in a non-platonic way are people I no longer have in my life. I have to bottle in the fact that even my mother hates me. She said she wishes she never got married and had me. Although my two younger sisters are perfect according to her, so that's cool. My sisters, and bro-in-law have been more than supportive. As I process the past, and try to move forward, I derive an air of confidence from it. Even typing this is cathartic. But I don't expect a magic bullet that will fix everything. That was my problem in approaching therapy in the past, that everything would fall into place immediately afterwards. Life does not work that way. I just don't understand what I'm doing wrong, and how to approach fixing the problem. I don't need someone in my life to make me happy, but there's always that part of life that can only be filled by someone else. I almost wish I never experienced it once, because I fear never finding it again.